The first step is admitting you have a problem.

You believed in the way he made you feel, addicted to how good it felt to have pieces of him running through your veins. You were caught in the thrill, in the adrenaline. The way people get excited for roller coasters to drop so that they can climb their way to the top of a big scary hill again, you were like that when your heart dropped out of your chest; looking forward to the part where he put it back where it belonged. You picked up the pieces of the things he broke while he told you how good you were at it, and you swam in that back-handed compliment. You broke yourself down to the point you believed there was art in the way you tirelessly put your relationship back together. You loved the way his love made your taste buds tingle, so much he was all you consumed. You got high on how summer smelt when it was laced with him. And here you are, an addict, addicted to a love you always hoped he might share with you but never actually got a hit of.



To the man I know you will be

I’ll love you through the ups and downs, the in-between, and you know that. I’ll be your light in the dark shielding you from the shadows. I’ll keep you warm and comfortable and kiss your flaws until you admire them as much as I do. I’ll talk about your shortcomings as if they give you character and I will do it so often you will start to believe me. You’ll start to see yourself as the man I know you can be and once I’ve given you everything I have and taught you everything I’ve ever learned you’ll leave. You’ll leave me with nothing but the memory of the boy you once were, teaching me the difference between a boy and a man and which ones are worth falling in love with.